Things are not going my way…
I find it quite funny that when you’re in a bad situation, and are actively trying to make the best of that situation, things will only get worse for you. I believe that it’s Murphy’s Law that states, ‘everything that can go wrong, will go wrong’, and that formula is sadistically applicable to my situation. Yes, this is a woe-is-me blog!
Let’s go!
Bad timing! By best friend, Chris, arrived in Guam just as we were leaving. It would have quite possibly been the best thing to hang out (and remarkably good for morale), even for a day, but the Navy will not have such merriment.
Long-term plan interception! I’ve found out that I will be doing the full deployment with HS-4. There’s probably no getting around it. It’s extremely disappointing (and frustrating!) to say the least, but I’m in no position to do otherwise. I’m sure this will upset at least a few people, but I really can’t do anything about it. Imagine my frustation when I can no longer complete the college courses that I wanted to get out of the way before school, can no longer get my personal trainer certifications due to deployment, and had to cancel my long awaited vacation to Hawaii. How difficult it is to put everything in your life on hold immediately for half a year.
Love on the rocks! Of course, deployment puts stress on any relationship. After almost two months at sea, and five months of absence, it’s really start to take its toll. And I have four months to go? Are you serious? I know exactly what I want and where I want to go, I just hope that by the end of deployment I’ll still have a reason to go there. It’s a scary thought, because I honestly don’t know what will happen, and I can only do so much from my position to help the situation. I feel terrible about how Jen must feel about this situation, and wish I could do more to make it easier on her. I also find it unfair that I’ve had experience doing a long-distance relationship, and it’s much easier for me now than it is for her. It’s a horrible feeling, not being able to be a part of her life, and wondering each day how long everything is going to hold up for.
Homelessness! So, my housing arrangement has drastically changed because of a freak situation totally out of my control, and I will be essentially homeless when I return to San Diego. Well, I’ll actually be homeless in a few weeks, technically, but now we’re just splitting hairs! I have two vehicles (one of which I was unable to sell before the surprise deployment) that I somehow need to get to a safe place for storage, as well as all my personal affects. How’s that for unexpected? This will be my second time since I’ve moved to San Diego that I’ve been homeless, and it’s quite an uncomfortable position.
An unlimited supply of burden! So, aside from everything else that’s going on with my life, I then have to deal with everything military, work related, on top of dealing with the same people, everyday, every week, every month. The kind of closeness you begin to share with people is a fine line between seething rage and erupting violence. The best part is, I have virtually no control over what happens while I’m gone! I’m seperated from the world, and helpless as to what changes and decisions are made whilst I’m removed.
So, if you ever think yourself having a rough time or experiencing a stressful day, just imagine what it would be like to be suddenly isolated from everything you love on top of having a myriad of personal affairs slowly crumble and break away, all while having little to no control over what’s happening around you. What a great feeling! So, if you ever meet a service member, go out of your way to thank them. They all put up with more bullshit than you could imagine to defend your freedom and man the war machine to keep us all safe. And that’s the best thing about it, I’m not the only one here with problems, so you have a ship full of snippity sailors trying to get their issues resolved. Hoo-yah!
.//chris