Transience.
A single dew drop
Banished by the morning sun,
Returns the next day.
I’ve come to realize, more and more, that all things are destined to eventually end. It is the fate that Nature places on all things, both animate and inanimate. Well, of course this isn’t a new revalation for me or anyone else, but how often do we think it? How often do we actually realize it? Many of us are so caught up and blindsided by a deep-seated aversion to loss, ending, finality, do we ever take a moment to stop and really contemplate what it is that we’re actually doing?
Life is transient. Ever changing. We move from one state to the next, not just in life and death, but our emotions, or feelings, or relationships, or state of minds. Always changing and taking new shapes, like a great pool pouring into an even greater ocean. And I find it remarkable, even in my own actions, the way we try and resist things (most notably: change). It’s a scary concept, this “change”, something we often time dread. But why? Because it removes us from complacency and forces us into a different manner of action. Change. Adapt. We are creatures of routine, and we oft get lazy over time. Again, complacency. What would happen to us if there wasn’t an ever changing cycle in our lives? What would we do with ourselves?
Thus, it is with these changes that makes me realize a different way of thinking. How to let things pass through me, with me, and change with them, instead of letting them grate jagged edges against me, leaving my scuffed and wounded. I’ve done that. I’ve been doing that. And in the past four days I’ve realized that it’s much better to accept the way things are, move with them like the greatest current, instead of struggling uselessly up-stream. I will no longer struggle, choke, and gasp for air as concussive waves crash over me. Instead, I will swim with the sweaping tides of time and progress, moving speedily along, always facing forward. Certainly, there will be some white-water ahead, maybe a few rocks to avoid being dashed upon, but what is life without it’s inherrent dangers? At the very least, it adds for us some excitement!
A good friend of mine recently got into a bad car accident, and it made me think about some of the choices that different people make in their lives. Sometimes we make choices we know aren’t good for us. But why? We make choices that hurt other people. And yet, who has a reason for these actions? We choose to self-destruct, destroy others, deny ourselves of our dreams, inhibit our own successes, and for what reason? Is it selfishness? Is it fear? I have yet to discover the cause(s), and I wonder if I really ever want to. Is the reason as important as the outcome? If the reason is known, will it stop the inevitiable result? Somehow, I seriously doubt it.
What it all boils down to is an acceptance of all things. There are some things you can change, there are some things you can’t change. It’s the ability to accept that there are things that I am unable to change, that I’m begining to grasp. To move with these things, instead of against them. I think it’s a critical trait for anyone’s character to do well in life and live happily. I have been changing the way I’ve been thinking recently, with a change that is both refreshing and mildly uncomfortable (at least at first) at the same time.
There’s no longer a sense of trying to find “who I am.” I’m always going to be “who I am”, and the “who I am” today and the “who I am” I will be tomorrow might be different, but I am still the same person. How can we aim to find out who we are when we are in a constant state of change?. People who try to “find” themselves are setting off on a doomed journey, because you’ll never be the same way forever. Even in sublte ways, we change. And more often than not, we don’t even realize the changes that are occuring. Instead, I’ve found that just observing the world, observing everything that happens around me is and forming my opinions, my reactions, and my thoughts is enough for me to flesh out my character. Instead of settling on finding myself, I’ll aim to always improve myself, to always change myself. I refuse to simply remain the same person. Life is too short to waste on trying to find a buried treasure that never existed in the first place.
.//chris
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:18 am
I agree. We can only be who we are. But see, sometimes when you have a lot of things happening around you and they’re happening pretty fast, it becomes confusing to some people. I think it’s sometimes possible to lose your sense of self amidst all the confusion. That’s when you got to go and find yourself.
In my case, nothing’s been happening for far too long I feel like I’m a speck of dust that doesn’t have any use at all. But! I somehow realize that it’s just self-pity. And maybe an excuse to keep sulking. Hehe. This entry made me think. Good job. Haha.
I like the haiku. But… the dew, it’s a different dew from yesterday. And it may be on a differnet leaf. It’s never the same. Hm. Oh well. That’s life. And I’m not making any sense. Hahaha.
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
True. There are times when a lot of situations change in quick succession or drastically, but do you ever really lose a sense of yourself in that kind of scenario? I just think the whole “finding yourself” bit is just a defense mechanism we use to get away from things you don’t really want to face or are scared of. Of course, it’s all up to personal speculative thinking and opinion.
If nothing has been happening for you, you should go out and MAKE something happen. There are a lot of different oppurtunities, hobbies, jobs, goals, dreams out there just waiting for you to find them! And don’t say that you don’t have a use at all. Everyone and everything in this world has a use. Saying that means you’ve already defeated yourself! So don’t continue to sulk, go do something about it! : P
Dew is the most commonly used symbol of transience. It is here, and then it isn’t. It evaporates in the morning sun back into vapor, only to coalesce once again the next morning. Thus, it returns as a slightly different dew, but dew nonetheless, made up of what is was made up of the day before.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 pm
“I just think the whole “finding yourself” bit is just a defense mechanism we use to get away from things you don’t really want to face or are scared of.”
Touche.